It's around 10 AM in the morning and it's July 4th. I can hear my mom screaming at my younger brother, ordering him around to clean the house and making distasteful side comments about his habits around the house. He can't say a word to her because he's a good kid and he's well aware that he isn't the most diligent when it comes to keeping the house orderly. But those side comments my mom is venomously spitting isn't helping the situation and I'm all too used to the series of events that would unfold in a couple of minutes. Those side comments that she's directing at my brother is going to make its' way to me, then my dad, and then continue spiraling out of control until everyone feels as shitty as my mother was. I generally sink away to the background until the tiger goes back to her cage and forgets about the damage that she's made in the wake of her fury, but little does she know of the effort that goes into rebuilding everything that was torn down. So, I finally got my ass up out of bed, which is partially the reason why she's infuriated, walked down the stairs and stood in front of her.

There was no malice in what I did, no ill-intention, just a genuine need to stop a train from gaining too much momentum. Before things really got rolling, I asked her "What's wrong?" And out came the flurry of complaints and grievances that comes from a woman who's watched way too many Korean dramas. To my surprise, I acknowledged whatever problems there was and responded with my own list of problems that came from her current rampage. She obviously didn't care, she was way too angry. So I let her vent out a little more of the problems that was eating away at her patience. I've learned my mother's disposition so I had to adjust to her actions, at the expense of my patience, pride, sanity, but this was all for the long-term goal of a quiet/happy household and a younger brother who hopefully doesn't have to deal with the same verbal scars I did. It's a scary thing standing up to someone who maintains a dominant position within a hierarchy, but it needs to be done, and I made sure I didn't budge an inch. Once the storm passed I again acknowleged the root of the problem but again restated that her rampage was unnecessary to both her and to the recipients of such an onslaught. After acknowledging the problem and making it known that I understood her side of the story, I apologized (only on the outside), and I presented solutions.

"I'll make sure Kevin and I clean the house on a regular basis.""I understand you're working very hard""Yada,yada,yada" After all was said and done, I managed to resolve a conflict and leave both sides of the party relatively happy. It may not seem like such a big issue, however, the act of starting a conflict with my mom and resolving it effectively gave me a great sense of accomplishment and boosted my confidence greatly. I've seen time and time again as my dad failed to solve the enigma that is my mother and he stubbornly continued to handle it in the same way. That is a big no-no. I believe it is extremely important to adjust to each situation and handle each accordingly. I believe that it's important to have an end-goal when initiating a conflict. I believe that you have to give something to get something back in return and sometimes it's not always something you're going to want to give away. I believe that you need to learn to deal with conflicts by watching the world around you. There's conflicts in the world everyday. It's just human nature to create conflict. With constant exposure to conflict, there comes experience. With experience, there comes effective methods to deal with conflicts. With effective methods, comes desired outcomes. With desired outcomes, comes happiness (hopefully for everyone). I believe that if there's a conflict it's best to go head on into it, but with intelligence and awareness.